At 6:00 a.m. on 21st March in the year 1, god created the world. In the course of the following four days he adorned it with stars and moons and oceans and various decorations. On the sixth day he created Jesus in his own divine image, placing him in the garden of Eden with a mandate to go forth and populate his domain.

Jesus had two sons in the same year, named Kane and Adam. When they were 13, Kane murdered Adam by pushing him from the branches of the Tree of Knowledge, which they had been exploring together. This event is known as the Descent of Man, and resulted the human race being expelled from Eden.

Kane's descendants bore the stigma of Original Sin and over the generations devolved into the apes and monkeys and lemurs and all the lower animals. Adam's descendants remained in good standing and gave rise to the modern human population of the world.

It is known that throughout most of human history, the average age for giving birth has been approximately 16 years; thus there have been approximately 120 generations since the creation. Until recent times, families generally consisted of a great many children, but even if the average family had only four children, that would result in a world population of one million million million million million million (10³⁶) by modern times. Given that the current world population is only six thousand million, it may be inferred that the Great Flood occurred about 516 years ago.

In 1492, god became angry with the peoples of the world, and determined to wipe the face of the earth clean and start again. He selected the one good man still living, Noah Webster, and ordered him to build a giant Ark in which to save himself, his family, and the animals. Noah, his wife Merriam, and their sons Ham, Sham, Sass, and Columbo sailed the ocean blue for forty days and forty nights while the earth was flooded. Noah steered the ship, Sass navigated by the stars, Ham and Sham looked after the animals, Columbo kept the log, and Merriam cooked and cleaned. When the waters began to recede, they landed in a new world, which they named Arkansas to honour their ship and navigator for delivering them safely, and founded modern society.